I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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