If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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