your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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