I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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