i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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