Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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