I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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