i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize