Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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