Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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