I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
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Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
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First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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