We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize