I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize