I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
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But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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