maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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