remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
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I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
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We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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