I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize