I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
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I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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