I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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