I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize