Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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