This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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