Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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