lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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