Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
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Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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