All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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