R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
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I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
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Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I could fuck to npr.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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