Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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