sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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