Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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