i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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