he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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