Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
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You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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