Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
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If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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