I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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