He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize