I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize