If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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