They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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