Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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