so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize