He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize