matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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