All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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