while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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