Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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