I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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