You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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