drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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