glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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